Oh my boy

Oh this boy has too much personality. I cannot believe how big he is. One time as I was rocking Aaliyah on the side while Aaron is dancing with my Mother-in-law during his wedding reception, I caught my son just standing on the side with his Daddy.And all of a sudden I found myself realizing that this could be us some 20 years down the road.And I cannot help but to teared up a little bit. I am so glad to be the mommy of this little monkey. I am so glad to say that I am the first woman in his life. He has his moments but overall he is such a good kid. For now I am just going to enjoy being his mommy. I hope I can do a good job in raising him and preparing him for all the big decisions that he is going to face in his life. I am so glad he is my first born. I want him to set as a good example to his siblings. And I believe that he will do a good job. He is Aaliyah's protector. Always concern about his baby sister. 

I love you Darren!

Total random picture of my little girl below.Isn't she such a cutie? Aaah this picture melts my heart.

Both babies are asleep.Hallelujiah! In less than an hour we are going on a road trip to CA for the weekend. I am so excited.But I hope that my babies especially Aaliyah will be good in the car. 

I hope you guys are ready to enjoy the long weekend! I am sure going to enjoy it.Another extra day with my hubby, why not.

And she shall be called Aaliyah Jane

This baby girl got blessed today. We are so lucky to have her.This is such a happy day for our family. Nate gave such a wonderful blessing.It was perfect.She is definitely loved. I am incredibly grateful to have such a healthy and beautiful baby. Her big brother loves her so much.Darren is very caring.And her Daddy just adores her. 

We love you baby girl!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY.

05.12.12
My happy place-cuddling with my little girl!

 I have grown to admire my Mother and love her even more now that I am a mother myself. I am grateful for her example and undying love. I am grateful for all that she does for my father, for me and for my siblings. Sometimes I wonder how she does it. She seems to have it all together. She is a strong woman,that I know for sure. She has been an inspiration, a role model. She never stops being a Mother.And for that I am forever grateful. One of my greatest blessings is to have someone in this lifetime I call MOTHER. She knows me more than I know myself.She has been with me since I was a tiny little infant and even now that I am grown woman. She is still there.Though distance may keep us apart.She never fail to make us feel her presence. She loves her grandchildren as much as she loves her children. And that makes me happy beyond measure.Her love is infinite and pure. I wish I could be more like her.

To my mother-in-law who have been like a real mother to me. To my sister-in-laws,my Aunties and to my mommy friends. To all of you women.Thanks for your example.Thank you for the laughter and for sharing with me your experiences of Motherhood. 

I love this talk so muchhttp://www.lds.org/general-conference/2003/10/to-the-women-of-the-church?lang=eng&query=quotes+about+motherhood . I hope you take the time to read it.It is beautiful.It gives me comfort and strength on days that I don't feel so good.

Last night my husband said "Sam my reason for existence here on Earth is to take care of my family.First you and then our children." That is probably one of the sweetest thing he could tell me. Motherhood is not as hard when you have a partner who loves you,supports you, and takes care of your well being.And I  have that. I am so lucky to be a wife to my husband and a mother to my children. I have a sacred responsibility but my needs are being met.With the help of the Lord and my eternal companion my role as a Mom seems so much more bearable and joyful. 

I am so ever grateful for where I am at this point in my life.No matter how many dirty diapers,puke incidents,and sleepless nights.I would still choose to be in my happy place-the comfort of my home with my husband and children. 

To all the women in different walks of life.YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,YOU ARE IMPORTANT,AND YOU ARE DOING JUST FINE!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO US ALL!

xoxo,

Sam

Yesterday-Today.

The past week has been hard because of my infection which made me really sick. Mom really has no time for sickness,I tell you. Thursday was the worst I had chills and fever and my body was painfully sore. My antibiotics made me itch. But as day goes by I started to feel a lot better. On Sunday night, I made a goal to make my Monday AWESOME for me and my children. I didn't really have anything plan.I just wanted to feel good and happy.I wanted a good and positive energy in my house so that my kids can feel that their sick momma is back on the grind again. And so it goes. I woke up with a happy toddler pulling my blanket so he can snuggle.By the time he got up on the bed, his favorite book was already on his right hand, ready to hand it to me so I can read to him. I pulled all my energy out, and tried to be awake. Then Daddy goes in the room to have our family prayer  before he headed out the door to start another day of work. I did not forget my goal the prior evening.And so I excuse myself from my toddler who is busy looking at his books.And the off I went to shower. Now, this is not a 30 minute long luxurious shower that I wanted. I was in and out of the bathroom. Because my time is precious and I cannot leave my active toddler with no supervision for a long period of time, plus my baby would probably wake up and get ready for the day. I turned on PANDORA and pumped up some music. And then I tried to dance with my Darren.he was not having it at first, but then he gave in anyway. Aaliyah was in an incredibly good mood as well. And so there were the three of us in the living room laughing and playing. Oh it was a good morning. I would go back to that Monday morning over again. Darren asked me to turned on the TV.But I did not barged in. I told him we are not having any TV today, it is a play day. By mid day Aaliyah by some miracle took her first nap without much drama. My daughter is good but she is incredibly fussy when she gets tired.There is only a pretty short window of "almost tired-I am ready to sleep"and if that window passes,she would started screaming bloody murder because she is overtired but couldn't go to sleep.Catching that window is sometimes very tricky because I have another child that needs attention. And when the boy got bored he quietly took his "bibi" (pacifier) from the side of his bed and off he went and lay down,who would have thought he would actually take an early nap. The kids were at least out for more than 2 hours.And so I did what I had to do in the house.And I felt very productive. The off we went to grandma after lunch and a little bit of play time. I went grocery shopping.Nate came back from work.We did our daily nightly routine, put the kids down and our little time together in front of the TV. By the end of the day.I feel very exhausted.You are probably not that interested in my day, but I really had to go into detail.Because my day yesterday was very close to PERFECT. I was happy, my kids were incredibly good and happy. 

Now if I only have the same attitude yesterday,then today would probably be a lot better. Today isn't so bad.But I am in a grumpy mood.I tried the music it didn't work. My toddler is in a roll today. And Aaliyah is not too happy. The result grumpy momma. Oh I really wish that my yesterday is today. 

Then I saw this video on the blog that I have been following. 

And then I sobbed. Instantly my attitude changed. I was no longer the grumpy momma. Aaliyah woke up and I held her tightly. In my heart I was thankful I have a grumpy baby. I am grateful that she's healthy.That her cry is because she just wanted to rest and not because of any other pain, that I wouldn't be able to help her with. I cried because in my heart I am thankful that the only time I feel torn as a Mother is when Darren needs me to get him change or for feeding time and I am either in the room putting Aaliyah to sleep. Sometimes I feel guilty for spending so much time with my baby that I feel like my toddler is getting somewhat neglected.It hurts.It was me and Darren at first. Just me and him. He has my undivided attention.In his little mind it must have been hard to adjust to this new change. But he is strong.I believe that maybe that is the reason why he is my first born.

I feel like, I feel Annie's pain as a mother.Even though I know that her heart is shattered broken and that it is something that I won't be able to comprehend.The thought of the pain and agony of a Mother loosing a child is just so painfully excruciating and unbearable.

This is just what I needed today. I need to feel the intensity and the importance of Motherhood.I need to be reminded of how important my role is, and how much I am needed by my children. I need to treasure every single moment that I have with my Aaliyah even though not all of them are happy moments. I need to be reminded to understand the mind of my 2 year old.

I don't know if I am still making sense, must be the drugs that's kicking in. I feel a little blah. But I am rejuvenated today. My mind has been align into the right direction. I need to just step it up. I need to focus on my children and not myself and how hard or tired I feel.

And I am off to bed. Good night!

My baby love

I can't get enough of this little girl. Look at those cheeks.

And then there is my little boy,who doesn't look so big anymore. This picture makes me a little sad.He looks like a big boy.

HAPPY MONDAY!

Back on the grind

Hey!Yes, I am still alive.Busy but alive and couldn't be any happier. I delivered via c-section.Oh gosh my mother-in-law could tell you how many times I have told her how much I dreaded and hated it. Not because I just wanted to experience delivering my baby naturally but mostly because I did not want to have a long days,weeks,months of recovery. I was scared that I would be incapable of caring for my children for a long period of time because I have to recuperate and recover. But everything works out. I know I just had to let loose and not be too much of a control freak.Let's face it there are some things that you cannot control in life.Sometimes, you just have to submit yourself,accept things as it is and work you way around it.  

I am so very grateful for all the help that was given to me. Nate's family has been a huge help.Really huge  help. And I couldn't thank them enough. My friend Tia and the other managers has been a great blessing,too. Before my scheduled c-section I was worried mostly for Darren. I know that I had to stay in the hospital longer. I was in the hospital getting ready to be pushed into the Operating room and my mind was still with Darren, wondering if he had eaten his breakfast,if he is okay or if he was acting up. It was hard for me to let go of that control over things.It was so very hard for me to let go of my motherly duty to Darren for a few days.It was hard for me to ask for help because I did not wanted to feel like I am imposing. 

I learned during the process is that it is okay to ask for help. I learned to recognized that even though my mind and my heart is willing to do the usual things that I do, my physical body isn't.And that I have to listen to my body.The last thing that I wanted to have happened was for me to overdo it and have a relapse. 

Three weeks has gone by so fast,I cannot believe it. I am now back on the routine of things. I am still trying to figure out my little girl.I am getting to know her more and more.I love her as much as I love my Darren.I am grateful for her. I am glad that she is in our family.She keeps me up at night like most newborns. Some days I feel like a walking zombie. I love to sleep, I guess it is safe to say that I am a sleep hog. And since this momma doesn't get much sleep my patience is so very little. And when you have a super hyper toddler,my patience are being put to the test EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of the day except during nap time. But no matter how many time outs,and no matter how many no, don't do that,do this instead...yada...yada..yada..I am still grateful for my little boy.He is also so very patient with me. He would let me cuddle him for a long time on the bed in the morning,sometimes I am even half asleep.He would wait patiently on the bed with me until I am ready to start the day. He forgives me so easily.He is willing to give me hugs and kisses after time-outs, with no grudges.He is ready to start over with a positive attitude. Most of all, he love his sister so very much. Yes, at times he probably wonders how come I hold her sister so much and I can't even lift him anymore.Sometimes I feel like he wanted to be the baby again. But then he has never hurt his sister and has been nothing but nice to her.He can comprehend and he understands that I have to divide my attention between him and his sister. 

I am really learning so much from my children. They teach me things I never thought I would learn at this stage in my life. Simple things that I thought I already knew. After I graduated from college, I thought my education has stopped. But I guess it never really stop. And  it shouldn't. 

This girl is getting chubbier each day.She's my milkaholic baby. She gained a pound and a half on her 2 week check-up. I thought Darren was my cuddle bug,but she seems to be more of a cuddle bug than her brother. Her hair is getting longer fast,too. 

M pacifier junkies. But Darren still wins the pacifier junkie award.Aaliyah is not much of a fan,which I kindah like. If I am not busy answering phone calls or attending to some tenant's problems,my days are mostly consists of changing diaper,feeding the kiddos,playing with them,putting them to sleep,cleaning up after them,making meals and the list goes on and on. But you know what, I don't mind at all,because I get to cuddle with these two cuties as long as I want and as much as I can. Life seems a whole lot busier these days.But then again, it is all good. 

On the side note.I am proud of my very first project. A menu board that I found on pinterest. I believe that simplicity makes life a lot more manageable. And if it means creating a meal plan for the whole week and putting it on a board together with the lists of ingredients to make my grocery shopping much easier and faster, then I am all for it. I feel very accomplished, since we all know that I am not crafty at all. I am actually excited to start some more projects that would make my everyday life more organize and manageable.

HAPPY THURSDAY!

She's here!

Aaliyah Jane Taylor has finally arrived.

She is perfect in every way. Yes I call her my little Asian baby,cause she totally look like one unlike Darren who seemed to be a total white boy when he was born. We just fell in love the minute we saw her perfect little face.And we couldn't be any happier.

Darren has been really really good to her. He always calls her "baby sister". He would ask me if he could hold her and then when he is done he would say "thank you mama" without fail. He loves to sing "head shoulders knees and toes", "pop corn" and "itsy bitsy spider" to her. He loves that they get to lay next to each other during our bedtime routine. I know that he is going to be her protector. And I am feeling very blessed that these two little cuties are mine.

I love this picture below so very much.The three most important people in my life. How did I get so lucky? 

xoxo