3am

This is so weird.It's almost 3 in the morning and I am wide awake. This is very unusual since I don't really have any reason to stay up this late. Darren has been pretty good in sleeping through the night since he was 5 months old.And I don't feel like I really have the luxury to be up around this time of the day.Because tomorrow I will be woken up by a super energetic child who is ready to start the day and play.While me on the other hand would probably be hoping to be in my comfortable bed,wishing to be sound asleep for a little while. I really should go back to bed,but I have been trying to fall asleep since 1am. and until now,no luck.I fell asleep around 10 and got woken up around midnight.

Anyway maybe I also have a lot of things going on in my mind. We only have 4 weeks left till we leave this place.I told you before that I am more positive now and have tried not to be too stress. But really now I feel like my emotions are all over the place. The anxiety is creeping in. I know that once Nate found a job it will be a big load lifted off of our shoulder.But we are still on the WAITING GAME. The good news is this afternoon we got a call from this company.Finally,after Nate's long process of submitting a resume to hundreds of companies.Okay maybe I am exaggerating,But the point is he has been really trying his hardest to look for a job.And the fact that we at least got a call back and there is a promising interview makes me a little excited. Not that we are for sure gonna get that job.But at least I know that Nate is not on limbo land and the results of the long hours of preparation to get his resume ready and to job hunt is actually making progress.You know what I mean.

I am really excited for him. I know that the past few weeks has been such a downer for him. But I also feel like he knows what he's doing and I am confident that this challenging moment will do him good.This challenge will just make our family better.I am sure of that.

Despite of the anxiety.And even though I may be sad to leave this place. I am even more excited to move on and start a new journey.Be in a place where we can settle at least for a little while. The past year has been such a roller coaster that I feel like we've been leaving in our suitcases for so long. I just barely started feeling like we are settled here,but then again I know that we this is again temporary. I have gained some good friends here.And I will be sad to not be around them.But then again, I am way excited to pass the getting to know stage once we moved in to a new place new ward. I have been thinking of projects and things that I could do once we are settled. I am excited for my little man. He is growing so fast. He is like a copy machine. And though I may not be ready for another time change.Which for sure is going to be tricky.I am excited for Darren to warm up in a different environment. I am excited for my husband.It has been a long time coming. And he will finally be done in college. I am excited for him to begin his career and to do something that he likes.

I am a happy Momma! I really am. Even if the worlds makes me sad. The recent happenings in Japan and other things makes my heart aches. But as I look into my little family.And I see the faces of my boys. I always see HOPE. And that is where I draw my strength more than anything else.My belief just proves to me that family is the best source of happiness. And this is what I desire the most in life.To be a wife and be a mother.

Now,off to bed!